I have mentioned in my earlier entry that I have finally graduated high school. That phase of life is now over for me, and I have reached the end of that journey. However, I am now in the transitional period of high school life to university life. It's summer break right now. I have been spending my time with my siblings, parents, close friends, and relatives. I realize that I may not be able to do these things again in university life. This is but one of my fears of the future.
I have been told by many university students how high school life doesn't even compare to university. Some say they have less time to play due to the tight schedules and difficult projects, but others say they have more freedom in college than in high school. Honestly, my time schedule is a wreck. It's so hard for me to keep track of time, let alone follow the schedule I have made. I usually use the excuse that "I'm more of a spontaneous type of guy". I realize now how much time planning would matter in university, especially when I'm planning to take a side job. I'm just afraid of being stressed out of having no time to do things...
Leaving my family in Indonesia to study overseas is quite hard to accept. I realize how much my parents and sisters had helped me through my senior year. Without them, I would have never passed the semester Cum Laude (with honors). They lectured me when I do wrong. Sometimes, I would look the other way and wouldn't accept it. However, they're still patient with me and kept on pushing until I finally had to humble myself and repent. I had my family to help me overcome my problems as a teenager. I had my family to talk to when I needed help. Other than my brother, where can I go (in Canada) when I need sage advice concerning my situation?
Finally, I couldn't bear the fact that I will be separating with my fellow graduates. I remembered the first time we had a class together. It was Tuesday during Accounting and Economics class. With all the rowdiness and jokes, I became uncomfortable sitting in class (please note that my class in the previous year was not even close to being noisy like my senior class). As time passes by, I grew accustomed to the class and even enthusiastically participated in their various shenanigans. It was through these hyper acts that we performed that memories are formed. I remember all the fun memories we had. Roselyn the pagan, Rivan and his sleeping (disorder?), Jessica and Dhiandro's matchmaking, David the Lots-o Huggin Bear, OTW Bandung trip, junk food deliveries, senior/graduates devotion, watching the two last episodes of Lord of the Rings using a projector in our classroom, making so much "creative compositions" in Bahasa Indonesia class, and especially the Komodo Island trip. I never had a class like this before. My greatest fear is that my university class would not compare to my amazing senior class. I had the best memories as a high schooler this past school year. What would I do without them...
Despite all my worries and fears, I know that my life is in His hands. I could not go on living if it is not for God. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper and not harm you; to give you hope and a future." God is in control. If I have a memorable past, then I believe that He has a much greater future for me ahead. Haggai 2:9 quotes: "'The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former (past),' says the Lord of hosts, 'and in this place I will give peace...'" I have faith in God that my future will be a much brighter chain of events than the events that had already happened. However, I cannot let God do this if I keep looking to nostalgia. I just have to make the best of the present and prepare myself for the future. I just have to never cease praying for God's protection and guidance for me as I take each step on the way to my next phase of life...
Thank you for your time,
Justin
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