Drifting Away...

I felt that this past few weeks I really drifted away from God... How do I know this? I started getting emotional, lost, and just utterly blank. My devotion time with Him started to get shorter and shorter until I barely had time to do so. I do hate feeling like this. You know, those feelings that makes you feel something is missing. Nothing can fill that empty spot except God Himself. Believe me, I tried. I tried filling it by music, but that wasn't satisfying enough. I tried filling it with TV shows, that didn't do the job. I tried filling with all kinds of internet stuff from social networking to browsing videos around YouTube, yet the void is still there. I tried chatting with my friends (this always cheers me up), but instead, I got insecure while talking. I see how this emptiness inside affects my daily life, and I hated it. I don't want to feel anymore emptiness. Let this blog entry be my seal of declaration that from this hour forward, I will fill that void with God and His love by spending time with Him each and every day.

I wrote a song back in the 11th grade about coming back to His presence:
Back Again
Lost my way from You
Far away from Home
Oh God, I pray
Longing everyday to come back to Your arms and bow down to all that You want...


Oh God
Forgive me that I sinned
Your grace suffice for those who repent


Never again I'll leave
Never again I'll sin freely
Even if I fall, pull me back and make me come back to Your arms and bow down to all that You want...

God pulled me back to Him... This is why I love Him so much... He never lets anyone fall behind. He is a God of second chances. I'm just grateful to have a God who cares and loves. I'm coming back to You, God. I'm back in Your presence...

Inflight Blog: Leaving my home...

As I am typing this, I am in a flight on the way to Toronto, Canada, where I will continue my further studies as an undergraduate in York University. Communication Studies would be my major throughout my four years study. Most of my fellow graduates of MSA have already started their university terms (kinda feel left out but also happy because I have a longer holiday :P). 

Leaving home is not easy at all... I am currently having mixed feelings of anxiety, excitement, nostalgia, and utter longing for my friends back home. I did not feel the “burden” of leaving until the morning of the day I was leaving. It was Sunday and I was ministering in the Kids on Fire Sunday school in my church. A bit of background: Kids on Fire (or KoF in short) is the first area of ministry in which I volunteered when I was about 10 years old. Back then, I was just working as a front desk registration person. My job was simply write down the children’s names who attend and give them coupons for the Kid’s Store. God gave me that chance to serve in KoF and I stayed faithful throughout the seven years after that. I wouldn’t be able to serve in the church choir nor be a musician if I had not ministered in KoF seven years ago... I decided that my last Sunday before leaving for university should be dedicated to where all my ministry started. I played the bass for both services. At the end of the worship session of the second service, Ms. Istha (wife of Ps. Jahja Gani) called me to the center of the stage to be prayed for. Her son, Joshua, came up the stage and prayed for His blessings to be upon me wherever I go. I was deeply touched... 

After the end of second service, I went up to the Music Hall to ask for the pastors’ blessings to send me off. I met Pastor Frans first. He prayed that I will hold all the moral values I have learned back home to Toronto. He prayed for the anointing of Daniel to be upon me wherever I go. After that, I went to Ps. Jahja, who prayed thanksgiving for putting me in the church to minister. Finally, I went to Ps. Markus who prophesied for me. “It’s true that you might not give your first fruit in the school like your brother and sisters did. The devil will tell you that you are missing out, but that’s a lie. ‘I have a greater plan for you’ says the Lord. I see you as a righteous man in God who stands on the right convictions. You will learn a lot of other ideas and religions, but you would not practice them.” After each prayer from the pastors, I embraced them saying my last goodbye before leaving. 

In the airport, I received several blackberry messages, tweets, and comments from several people wishing me “all the best” in Canada. Some even went through the trouble of typing out a long paragraph. I was deeply touched by their thoughtfulness in writing those long messages before I leave. I read through each one and thanked everyone. After that, I departed for Singapore. 

The next day, I went out with some of my friends (namely Tasha, Leon, and Josiah). My brother and sister (Adelene) tagged along. We went to visit our friend Abraham who is recovering from leukemia. We met the family and spent quite a while catching up with him. At 6, we parted ways. Leon, however, suggested we hang out in Marina Bay Sands’ Sky Garden to take pictures of the nightlife. This idea was quite random, but we went with it anyway. At half past 10, the four of us (excluding my sister and Tasha) arrived in the Sands. We found out that the Sky Garden had just closed half an hour ago. We decided to just take pictures inside the Sands Mall. As Leon and my brother took outdoor pictures of the Fullerton View, Josiah and I had a long talk about things that happened in MSA and things happening in the present. After a while, we both decided to search for Leon and my brother. Apparently, Tasha was already with them while they were taking low-shutter speed shots of themselves. It was quite fun! It’s able to make a figure seem like a specter in the image result. We took quite a while doing so. Around a quarter before 1, we decided to search for a 7/11 store to get some beverages. After a long search, we finally did find one in the mall. We had our drinks and exited the building. We took a long walk on the “Olympic Walk” while heading towards a cab. Leon never ceases to amuse all of us with his random comments and stories. Josiah took a separate cab home. I said my farewell to him. Then, we dropped off Tasha at her dorm. After that, we dropped Leon in his condo. Finally, we reached home at about a quarter past 2 (I have never gone home that late...or that early :P) I went online in Skype and saw Tasha online. I started a chat with her when I saw Leon and Josiah popped up online in Skype too. Then, we had a chat conference. Unfortunately, my internet broke down in the middle of the conversation... I didn’t get the chance to thank them for the awesome night I had. So I only tweeted and status-ed it. They made my last night there memorable. So if y’all are reading this, Tash, Le, and Jos, I wanna thank you SO MUCH for being such awesome friends for taking the time to hang out. =) I’ll miss you all... In fact I do already.........

I took a short nap on the plane earlier. After the inflight meal, I decided to look for something to do... However, the map’s not working and the inflight movies are not that interesting. So I decided to be alone with my thoughts for a minute. It was then that God showed me the blessings He had provided for me ever since childhood. I have a great family who takes care of me. Even now, my parents and sister are in the flight with me to Toronto to help arrange my necessities when we arrive. This is how much they love me =) Second, I had a great church. MSI had been my church ever since it was formed in early 2000s. My pastors cared for the welfare of each member and newcomer. I love my Sunday school ministry and worship ministry. I would definitely miss being in my church ministry... Finally, I have great friends who are thoughtful, random in a fun way, and supportive. I only regret that I did not spend more time with them when I had the chance... When experiencing all this, I almost shed tears. But now that I’m thinking back on all that happened, a cry of desperate longing is raging in my heart...

I learned a lot from my childhood, but I am now moving on to another phase of life. What I did is the past now. Sadly, it is now just a shadow in my memories... But as Switchfoot sings it, “The shadow proves the sunshine.” I believe I will enjoy a lot more things in university life as I move on. My memories of childhood are sweet as it is, but I pray that God would let my latter be sweeter than my past. I’m missing you all back home... I hope I can visit you as soon as I can. 

You all have marked a permanent seal in my memories. I would be sinning if I ever forget all the things you did for me. May God bless you all for the lessons you have taught me and the fun experiences we had together...

Desperately homesick, 

Justin

For my fellow graduates of 2010-2011

This composition is dedicated to my fellow senior classmates of MSA 2010-2011...

"I’m traveling through the sky overlooking the waters below

I looked out on my window and saw it’s all dark

The waters, the darkness

Even these brought longing memories to my mind...

I remember clearly those times

Resting our heads on the deck

Gazing upon the stars above

The dark waters surrounding the boat

My friends around me all adoring God’s beautiful creations

I can never forget that moment together

Looking back, it just hurts to recall

A feeling I haven’t felt before

The bond we all shared

Knowing that we are all far apart now

I just wish we could relive those moments..."

MSI Sunday Service August 21, 2011

It was just another Sunday service in Morning Star Indonesia (MSI Jakarta). Nothing extraordinary will happen. Oh, we have a guest speaker. Then I guess the sermon would be quite fun. Nah, nothing amazing...........

These are the thoughts I had before the Sunday service started. Boy, was I wrong... In fact, this last Sunday service was the best service I have ever been to in my life so far. I felt the amazing presence of God fill me as I worshipped and witnessed His greatness. This is definitely a day to remember.

________________________________________________________________

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning with my alarm ringing from my blackberry. I just had the experience of a "Sunday Morning Scramble" the week before, and I'd say that it was not something I would want to occur again. Off to the shower immediately. I got dressed and we were off to church.

We arrived early, seeing that only a few of the musicians had arrived before us. As they prepared their instruments, I took a seat in the front row of the right wing in the auditorium. I glanced at the clock and realized that we still had at least 30 minutes before the service starts. At that moment, God softly whispered to me to "prepare your heart for His presence". I pulled out my iPod from my pocket and tapped on the Bible application. There, I read the whole chapter of I Corinthians. After I closed in prayer, I felt that my heart is prepared for the morning.

Everyone took their stations, mine being in the choir stage. The opening song started. Kak Petra (our youth leader) opened the service with greetings. Even in this first song, I can already feel the peace around the atmosphere. After that first worship song, we moved on to praise. It was jumpy and joyous! I don't think I've ever jumped and dance that much on stage :P but I do this all for His sake (we sang the Rebirth song "You Are Great" with one phrase in the bridge: "I'm not ashamed to jump and dance before You; I owe it all to You"). It was fun yet meaningful.

After that, we sang a new worship song by Sidney Mohede. It's amazing that the song was actually quite familiar. We were able to engage so easily with the words. I started to reflect on those words as we sang. Immediately, I felt God speaking to me. All I could say was, "God... You have been so faithful to me. You deserve all the praise and honor, and with my whole heart, I worship You (S'gala puji, s'gala hormat, seg'nap haiku menyembah Kau). Accept my life today, Father, as a living sacrifice unto You alone (Terimalah s'gnap hidupku s'bagai persembahan yang hidup). Tears fell from my eyes as I said these words from my heart.

The pastor came up to commence the Holy Communion. We sang "Jesus Be the Center" until the end of the praise and worship. Powerful words...

Verse: Jesus be the center of my life Jesus be the center of my life From beginning to the end, it will always be It's always been You Jesus Jesus Chous: Nothing else matters Nothing in this world will do Jesus You're the center Everything revolves around You Jesus You Bridge From my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center It's all about You Yes it's all about You Chorus 2: Jesus be the center of Your church Jesus be the center of Your church And every knee will bow, and every tongue  shall confess You Jesus Jesus

(Just recently today, I was Skype-ing with a friend of mine discussing this song. "When all else fails, Jesus is all you got," we agreed. It's true. We can call ourselves "Christians", but if Jesus is not the center of our lives, then it is meaningless.)


The sermon was really touching too. It's about giving our life and dedicating it to God and His ministry. The speaker was a missionary named Ps. Rusty Russell. In one of his testimonies, he mentioned that he visited a village in Nepal to minister. One time, a deaf girl came up to where he and his team were camping. Pastor Rusty placed his hands near the girl's ears and prayed for immediate healing. Suddenly, the girl was able to hear again! She went back to tell the people in the village about the miracle that recently  happened. An old man approached the missionaries and asked for the "magician". "We have no magician," was the reply. "But I can pray to my God to heal you as He did the young girl." The old man was also deaf in one ear. As immediately as the prayer ended, the man was restored! The news spread among the villagers and most of them got saved after the incident.

After the sermon, Pastor Rusty called on all those who wants to accept Jesus to their lives for the first time. A lot of the congregation stepped up and gave their lives to Christ. Then, Pastor Rusty caught us off guard when he said, "God is telling me that some of you need a healing miracle. Among you, there's one who is deaf in your right ear (an elderly man stood up and walked to the front immediately). There are also people here with kidney pains, neck pains, shoulder pains, knee pains." A long line formed in front of the stage. Pastor Rusty called on the leaders of the church and prayed for God's healing anointing to be upon them too. He poured oil and rubbed it on each of the leaders' hands. After doing so, he prayed for the elderly man who was deaf in the right ear. After a short prayer, he began to snap his fingers in front of the elderly man's ears. "Can you hear now?" The man smiled and shouted "Yes!" There was another elderly man who came up to the line with his son. He had a knee injury. After a prayer for healing, Pastor Rusty told the man to skip around. The man did so with no pain whatsoever. The surprised look in the son's face was just priceless! He stared with wide eyes at his father's recent recovery. Throughout the whole healing service, the worship team sang Hillsong's "Healer". Everyone was touched, even the audience. After everyone was prayed for, the first service came to an end.

By the beginning of the second service, my voice was already half gone due to the high notes of the songs. Common sense dictates that I should rest my voice for this service. But God is beyond common sense. I made a decision to "sing out loud until my lungs explode if it comes to that" =P (Thank God it didn't). The opening song already drew tears. By the time we reached the song "We Have Overcome", I already felt my throat hurting a little. Ironically, this made me sing out more :P I had fun throughout the praise. We sang "Jesus Be the Center" again. I have never sung a song in which I meant every single word before. "Nothing else matters", "From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center", "It's all about You". When we reached the part where we sing "Jesus" over and over again, tears literally RAINED down. In my heart, I kept saying to myself, "Yeah, sing the beautiful name of Jesus. The name above all names. The name that conquers all. The name that softens the hardest heart. The name that heals. The name that saves..."

It was a beautiful praise and worship session... I have never felt anything like that. The last time I felt a huge "tsunami" of God's presence was back in Manado when we had a youth service at the church there. Never before have I experienced the best worship session in my home church. After 17 years, this was the first time I felt something like that. It was truly amazing. Our God is so awesome. I saw the deaf regain their hearing, I saw the crippled walk, and I saw the lost found. I praise and amazing God...


Thank you for reading,
Justin

The Savior, my Hero...

I would first like to apologize for not updating my blog regularly. Things had been routine ever since I got back from my China trip. We had our MSA Orientation camp and had a few hangouts with some of my friends, but other than that, nothing much is happening.

Okay, so the reason why I'm writing a new entry now is because I felt the need to share what I'm feeling inside right now. I had recently watched the movie Braveheart (actually just finished the movie right before opening my blog). I didn't know it was made in 1995; therefore, I didn't know to watch it. The overall movie itself is amazing...and gruesome. It's no wonder they won many awards. But putting those awesome movie-making aside, I especially love the message of the film. For those of you who do not know what Braveheart is all about... Well, it's basically about a Scottish patriot (William Wallace) who fought against the oppressing English kingdom in their land. He led his Scots army to achieve freedom. Many times, William was tempted to sidetrack from his conviction. And each time, he turned it down and stood his ground.

What hits me the most was the ending of the movie. Eventually, William was betrayed and captured by the English people. Before his execution, the princess of Wales visited him in the prison and begged him to drink an anesthetic liquid that will dull the pain he'll be facing during the torturous execution. William refused, saying that, "For if I'm senseless, or if I wail, the [English] would have broken me." As he was paraded towards the execution site, the citizens of England threw things at him to shame him. The executioner gave William a chance to submit to the English throne, which will give him a quick death instead of a long torture. William stood silent. There comes the first torture: hanging. After suffocating half dead, the executioner gave another chance for William to submit. And again, William silently refused and stood back up. The second torture fell on him: racking (which involves stretching the legs and arms with a rack). After that phase was over, the executioner asked William again if he wants mercy. William remained steadfast. The third torture involves cutting open his body and body parts (gruesome...I know...). Even then, the executioner offers William to shout "Mercy!" to end this suffering. The audience watching this execution also cried out for William to utter "Mercy!" William only had one last word to say: "Freedom!" as the axe ran through his neck, thus ending his life.

As I watched this scene, I was reminded of our Lord Jesus' brutal crucifixion. Jesus suffered alone. Picture this: you're going through a situation and you need comfort, but you find that all of your friends are not there to give you the encouragement you need. This is exactly what Jesus had to face. His closest disciples were sleeping while He had to pray hard before the arrest. Jesus was even tempted to escape this torture, but He made a resolution in Luke 22:42, "Father, if it is Your Will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours be done." It takes great strength and personal conviction to say those words. Jesus had to die for our sins. He was accused of deeds He did not do. Jesus was whipped several times before being paraded around Via Dolorosa to be humiliated more by the people. On the cross, His flesh were already torn out that He doesn't even look like a human being anymore. He had to hang there for six hours, His body all covered in blood. Jesus was tortured mercilessly for something He did not do, yet He accepts it just to save us from the bondage of sin. If He is willing to die for our salvation, how much more should we be willing to die for His sake.......



God bless you,
Justin

Day 2: Hong Kong-Macau-China Trip (Hong Kong)

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

          Our alarm clock was set off at exactly 7:30 A.M. Both my brother and I are still dozed off in bed. His hand searched for the snooze button and slammed it. It took us four more snoozes before we finally were awaken by a crowd of Chinese tourists outside making a lot of noises. I went to the door and looked through the peak-hole. Two ladies and a kid was there talking loudly. I banged on my door and they reacted. I headed for the bathroom to shower. 

      By 9:00, almost everyone was already gathered downstairs. My aunt and my cousins were still absent, though. The rest of us decided to head for the breakfast place first. Cafe de Coral became our choice because it has a special breakfast menu and it’s close by, anyway. I took a picture of my breakfast and later posted it on Instagram. 

         After breakfast, we headed for the train station to ride to Causeway Bay (my grandpa decided to go Shenzhen first because he had business to do there; therefore, he wasn’t with us shopping today). There was a little misunderstanding before we boarded. Apparently, we got separated to two groups unintentionally and didn’t know where the other group is. After about fifteen minutes of searching, my second sister (Adelene) received a text message from my aunt saying that they were already in front of the trains waiting. With that, we dashed down the stairs and ran toward the trains. It was just in time too! In less than a minute, the train arrived and we were off to Causeway Bay...which is only one stop away...

        Causeway Bay! Downtown of Hong Kong! Unfortunately, it was raining again today. We had our umbrellas but it wasn’t enough for each of us to hold one. Because of this, we had to group two by two in one umbrella with the exception of my two cousins who were under one umbrella with their mom. Our first stop was a jewelry store owned by one of my grandmother’s friends from Jakarta. I was so bored of waiting that I took out my iTouch and started to play my “Bebot” app to the tune of Jennifer Lopez’s “On the Floor”. That song became the “theme song” sung repeatedly throughout the day.

A half hour passed when we finally decided to go to our next destination: my great-granduncle’s apartment. My grandma chose to stay to just catch up with her friend and will meet us at 12:30 around the area. We arrived in the apartment and met with our 87 year old great granduncle. We took a few pictures at the end of our visit and we headed to the rendezvous point to join my grandmother. We had lunch at a local restaurant that has both local and western cuisines. 

        Once lunch was over, our shopping mode is on. Giordano was our first real shopping stop of the day. We completed all the payments and headed towards the next shop: G2000. We were separated again from the others. This time, my parents, my sister Adelene, and my brother Jonathan were with me. We agreed to meet up in Times Square as soon as we’re done. We walked on to search for the big building. It was quite a long walk too, so we decided to stop by a shop and ask for directions. The man told us to “go straight and turn right when you see the ‘IT’ sign and from there you can see the tallest building.” It took us about twenty minutes of crossing the roads, walking on the sidewalks, and going around buildings before we finally entered the Times Square itself. By then, it was 4 o’clock. We met the others in Ben & Jerry’s. We all split up and agreed to meet back there an hour later. 

One hour was over. In that time, I was able to buy my brother’s birthday present. My brother and I was back at Ben & Jerry’s with my cousins and my grandma, but everyone else was still missing. A few minutes later, my aunt and my parents came. By then, I was already searching for Internet access. Thankfully, I was able to reply a few messages to my friends in FB and chat with another one of my friends in Skype. After a half hour or so, my sisters finally arrived and we headed for another store. Once that’s done, we headed for our last stop: Sogo. 

Our shopping finally ended and we all were quite exhausted. We got home and dropped our bags in the room and departed again to find our dinner. The stores nearby were mostly closed already. We had no other choice but to cross the bridge and ate in the other side. The only decent restaurant there was Cafe de Coral. There was a McDonald’s in the next floor, but none of the others agreed to eat there except for my cousins and me. 

After a filling meal, we walked back to the hotel while discussing J. Lo’s song all the way back. The hotel lobby was a like a haven for my brother and me. Yes, we immediately connected to the WiFi there. I get to post pictures in Instagram and chat for quite a while with my friend. Finally, we had to go back to our rooms. 

A refreshing shower was just what I needed after a long, tiring day. I stepped out of the bathroom afterwards and noticed the curtain half open. I walked over to the window and pulled it fully open, unveiling a night view of Hong Kong Central. It was amazing. If there’s something good about urban civilizations, it would be these magnificent lights in the city at night. I immediately moved everything away from the window and placed my brother’s camera tripod close to the window. I adjusted my camera and fixed the settings. I turned off all the lights and took several shots of the nightlife. Amazing...truly amazing...

Our last activity was a game of DotA among my siblings and me. I was paired with my brother and we won the round. Satisfied with the results, I sat in my bed and began typing about my day today. So here I am... 

     What do I have to say about the day? Well, time becomes a precious memory when they are spent with those whom you love. Never ever hesitate to spend time with your family. There is no loss in it. I enjoyed my day today because I spent it with my family. I can say that today is a day that I treasure so much...all because I spent it with the people I love. God bless you all!

Day 1: Hong Kong-Macau-China Trip (Hong Kong)

     Safely landed at Hong Kong International Airport after a bumpy ride in the air for 3 hours. I was pretty tired especially when I had to wake up at 3 to leave for Jakarta’s airport. At 3:30, my grandparents, my parents, my brother and I left for the airport. Our flight left at about 5:30. I was able to chat with one of my friends during the wait in the lounge. Our journey took a transit at Singapore first where we met my uncle unexpectedly at the exit gate. He kindly escorted us to the skytrain to Terminal 3 where we parted. We did quite a workout in walking through the terminal, especially when I was carrying 3 bags at once! The security check was the usual in Singapore: detailed and complex. We got into the airplane (which was quite huge) and met with my two sisters, my aunt, and my two cousins. Our seats were located on the upper deck of the plane. It might be because of this that I feel quite nauseated mid-flight. The turbulence was crazy. Although I slept most of the way, I was quite disturbed with the frequent turbulence that occurred. Overall, the flight was just fine. Hey, at least we arrived in our destination safely, right?

       We took 3 taxis to travel to our hotel. We arrived in a hotel called “Renaissance Hotel Harbourview”. However, only two of the taxis arrived in this destination. The cab with my aunt, cousins, and brother were not there. “Well we’ll wait a while,” I thought. My dad asked me to watch our luggages while he checks in our rooms. The porter stacked our bags on his trolley and was ready bring it upstairs. However, my dad went back to the front door and stopped the porter. “We’re in the wrong hotel,” my dad sighed. Apparently, the taxi driver dropped us at the wrong “Harbourview Hotel”. We were made to walk two blocks down while pulling our luggages through the streets before finally arriving at the right hotel. My brother and the others were already there waiting. I sat and whipped out my iPod to connect with the WiFi in the lobby. Fortunately for me, internet was available. I was able to post pictures in Instagram and chat for a while in Skype. It was a bummer because the message was often pending. We went up to our rooms and quickly freshened up. 

       After everyone was gathered in the lobby, we walked for ten meters or so to a restaurant called “Cafe De Coral”. The food was very delectable, or it might have been our rumbling tummies talking. Nevertheless, everyone enjoyed the meal. 

Our next plan was to head for the Central, a shopping district with a lot of office buildings as well. We walked on the bridge to cross the street and took a tram. On the way there, I suggested to my siblings and cousins that we adopt the “Hong Kong way of speaking” (which my grandmother also practice at times). So I started speaking with a loud voice for no reason. No one seemed to mind at all. I guess this will be a fun experience, after all! 

    Our tram arrived in the shopping area and our first stop was the one and only H&M clothing store. I never really enjoyed shopping for clothes, unlike my brother and sisters. However, today was an exception, I guess. I ended up purchasing more than my brother did! For me, this is amazing... 

          After a couple hours, we decided to find a place to have a final meal of the day. I was still quite full from the last afternoon meal, but I followed along anyway. Our search for an available yet descent restaurant was quite an adventure too. We walked uphill for two blocks and all the eating places there were crowded. we had to walk downhill from there for two blocks or so before settling in a local restaurant in one of the buildings. After our meal, we decided we were too tired to continue walking. This is the point of another adventure: going home....IN THE RAIN. 

Yes, it was raining quite hard after we finished our eating. We couldn’t hail a cab over because all of them that passed by were occupied. We had to go back uphill and stop by a 7/11 store to buy umbrellas before continuing to retrace our steps back downhill. We finally were able to hail two taxis and head home. There, I thank God for finally giving us this taxi.  After a long search in the rain, we finally obtained it. Right then, God also reminded me that we might not be the only ones who had to walk in the rain to find a ride back. So, I prayed for those still in the rain that God would provide for them hastily too. 

         Back to the hotel, at last! I took another picture of the hotel and posted it in IG. At 23:00, my brother and I wanted to connect to an internet service. However, little did we know that the service was shut off by that time. Disappointed, we returned to our room. It is amazing what randomness can do for you. I aimlessly connected to a random WiFi network and it actually worked! I was able to send a message or two in Facebook before the connection was cut. I had actually planned to post this as soon as I finish writing, but that does not seem possible now. It’s 00:18 at the moment and I’m typing on my bed right now. I really need my rest for the following day. In conclusion, Day One in our trip is quite exciting, and I can’t wait what other things God had planned for us for tomorrow! 

Choices

“Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education you will ever receive.” -Dr. Shad Helmstetter, Choices. 

Our life is filled with choices. Every step that we take will require a decision making. I can guarantee that every single day, we will face at least one choice. To decide to get out of bed in the morning is a choice. To choose to shower that day is also a choice. However, not all decisions are easy to make. We may face challenges that require wisdom before we decide. Dr. Shad Helmstetter also said, “Whatever you choose, you might as well enjoy it. It is your choice.”

One example that I am about to point out is quite sensitive. I ask that you please bear with me. The toughest choice that some teenagers have to face is in the subject of abortion. Premarital sex causes problems when one becomes pregnant unexpectedly. Panic and confusion will occur in these situations. The couple would not have the right mind to think this through. All they think about is how to solve the problem now to save their reputations. However, does this choice really give the solution to the problem? Doesn't it cause more problems, such as guilt, remorse, and shame? These kinds of situations call for wisdom to choose.

I was just hearing a song called "Lucy" by a band named Skillet. At first, I thought this song was a typical "missing you/rest in peace" song. I didn't pay much attention to it in my iPod. While I was browsing Skillet in Wikipedia, I found out that "Lucy" was one of their singles in their newest album. There was an additional note in the body page which tells of what the song actually means. The lead singer, John Cooper, said this:

"It is based on a true story. And that story is this: it's about a young couple who find out that they're pregnant. They are in high school, they are not married, and they are absolutely scared to death of the implications — what happens when people find out, and then how to take care of this baby. They don't know what to do. Very frightened. And basically the only option that they think that they have just to get rid of this problem was to terminate the pregnancy. And so they did that. They had the procedure done. And, of course, being young and naive, they thought that all their problems were over, everything was going to be better now, nobody had to find out.

But then over the next few months, something happened to them that happens to a lot of people, which is the fact that they began to feel this immense pain and guilt and sorrow and loneliness over what had happened with the baby. Couldn't get over it. So they finally decided to go see a counsellor. And this counsellor basically suggested for them to stop thinking of it like a medical procedure, and to begin to think of this like a death in the family in order to get over it.

And so this couple goes home, and they decide to do three things. Number one, they decide to hold a small funeral service for the child. Number two, they bought a little headstone as a reminder. It said, "In memory of" — you know, the baby and whatnot. And number three, they decided to name the baby in order to get some closure. And they decided to call her Lucy.

So it's a sad song, but it's also about second chances. It's about talking about an issue that is effecting literally thousands of people all across the world. More of these stories are coming out of people saying, "Had I know that grief that would ensue after having this procedure done, I might have thought twice about it." And so it's meant to bring hope to people. Meant to bring a peace to people. And basically the love of God. All these things are hard, and they effect you, and they're real, but there's a God who loves you and is there for you."

You can check out the lyrics of "Lucy" here. It's very touching and sad. The choice the young couple made had utterly left a huge scar in their lives. They regretted being impatient with sex and even more regretful when deciding on abortion. But they have to live on anyway. However, how happier can their life be if only they had made the right choice...


We cannot change what we had chosen in the past. That is why we have to choose carefully in life. Our decisions will determine the kind of future we have. I just pray that we all could gain the wisdom to decide life's choices when facing difficult situations. Please, dear readers... I beg you... Make the right choices. The world depends on you. Choose to live wisely.




My prayers be with you,
Justin

The Seasons

"The life of man is like the seasons of the year: each with its peculiar beauty. . . " -Hobart Huson, The Pythagoron

 Life has four phases, just like a year has four seasons. This might be different if you're living in a tropical country, but please do help cooperate with me =)  The four seasons of the year (spring, summer, autumn/fall, and winter) are representations of life's various events.

In "spring", we begin our year with great joy. The plants are growing in colorful patterns and everything seems to begin growing. We make our resolutions and eagerly focus on pursuing it. We get very hyped in this new beginning.

In "summer", life begins to get better and better. The sun is up and it's time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Holidays arrive and we relax ourselves as though we are in the peak of our lives. No worries about work or problems. Just enjoying the moment while it lasts...

In "fall", the leaves start to fall off. New challenges and situations come our way. Our responsibility becomes a burden, our friends may desert us, mishaps may occur... It seems like things are falling apart!

Winter... Everything is dead. All buried in whiteness. What is there left for us... Life has no meaning. Everything is lost. Life is nothing but cold hell. This marks the lowest point in living. But is this really the end?

NO! Always remember that there is always another season waiting for us! Spring is just around the corner. It's a new hope! Another chance to start afresh and begin with great joy again!

Life seems like a never-ending cycle of ups and downs. This may seem boring to people, but that's just the way life works. However, life is not about the number of times we rise and fall. It is about how far can we reach when rising up again. Does it supersede the previous rise? "The higher we rise, the harder we fall," as some people say. How far can we bounce back after that? If we only focus on the quantity of success and failure, then life WILL be boring. But if we see the quality of those two, then we will keep growing in life without any chance of boredom.

I know that my life in this earth has not been extensive. Nevertheless, I have experienced quite a lot throughout these 17 years as a human. There are times when I am doing very well in my character, but there are also times when I began to divert and look away from those values. The same thing happens over and over again. When i get distracted, I get a lecture from my parents or mentors and I finally revert my focus again. Looking back, I can see how much I have grown from a child, to a preteen, and a teenager. There are some things I regret, of course. But this is a sign of growing up.

Proverbs 9:6 says, "Leave your childish ways and you will live. Walk in the way that leads to understanding." If I keep seeing life as an endless cycle, then I would have just stayed as a child all my life. Therefore, life is not a cycle. It's a road where we will encounter similar problems and face similar issues. We can rise, we can fall, and we can revive. My question is: How will we live the seasons of our lives?

Thank you for reading,
Justin

My Current Fear

I have mentioned in my earlier entry that I have finally graduated high school. That phase of life is now over for me, and I have reached the end of that journey. However, I am now in the transitional period of high school life to university life. It's summer break right now. I have been spending my time with my siblings, parents, close friends, and relatives. I realize that I may not be able to do these things again in university life. This is but one of my fears of the future.

I have been told by many university students how high school life doesn't even compare to university. Some say they have less time to play due to the tight schedules and difficult projects, but others say they have more freedom in college than in high school. Honestly, my time schedule is a wreck. It's so hard for me to keep track of time, let alone follow the schedule I have made. I usually use the excuse that "I'm more of a spontaneous type of guy". I realize now how much time planning would matter in university, especially when I'm planning to take a side job. I'm just afraid of being stressed out of having no time to do things...

Leaving my family in Indonesia to study overseas is quite hard to accept. I realize how much my parents and sisters had helped me through my senior year. Without them, I would have never passed the semester Cum Laude (with honors). They lectured me when I do wrong. Sometimes, I would look the other way and wouldn't accept it. However, they're still patient with me and kept on pushing until I finally had to humble myself and repent. I had my family to help me overcome my problems as a teenager. I had my family to talk to when I needed help. Other than my brother, where can I go (in Canada) when I need sage advice concerning my situation?

Finally, I couldn't bear the fact that I will be separating with my fellow graduates. I remembered the first time we had a class together. It was Tuesday during Accounting and Economics class. With all the rowdiness and jokes, I became uncomfortable sitting in class (please note that my class in the previous year was not even close to being noisy like my senior class). As time passes by, I grew accustomed to the class and even enthusiastically participated in their various shenanigans. It was through these hyper acts that we performed that memories are formed. I remember all the fun memories we had. Roselyn the pagan, Rivan and his sleeping (disorder?), Jessica and Dhiandro's matchmaking, David the Lots-o Huggin Bear, OTW Bandung trip, junk food deliveries, senior/graduates devotion, watching the two last episodes of Lord of the Rings using a projector in our classroom, making so much "creative compositions" in Bahasa Indonesia class, and especially the Komodo Island trip. I never had a class like this before. My greatest fear is that my university class would not compare to my amazing senior class. I had the best memories as a high schooler this past school year. What would I do without them...

Despite all my worries and fears, I know that my life is in His hands. I could not go on living if it is not for God. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper and not harm you; to give you hope and a future." God is in control. If I have a memorable past, then I believe that He has a much greater future for me ahead. Haggai 2:9 quotes: "'The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former (past),' says the Lord of hosts, 'and in this place I will give peace...'" I have faith in God that my future will be a much brighter chain of events than the events that had already happened. However, I cannot let God do this if I keep looking to nostalgia. I just have to make the best of the present and prepare myself for the future. I just have to never cease praying for God's protection and guidance for me as I take each step on the way to my next phase of life...



Thank you for your time,
Justin

An Introduction

Hello, everyone! Let me just start off with my name. I'm Justin Tjoandi. Born and raised in Jakarta, Indonesia for 17 years. I am the last child of four: two older sisters and one older brother. From kindergarten to the third grade, I was home-schooled by my parents. In the fourth grade, I entered Morning Star Academy in Kuningan, where my mother becomes one of the principals. Presently, I had just graduated high school and applied for York University in Toronto, Ontario.

My passion for music, sports, and writing is quite extensive.....

I started playing the drums by the age of 5; however, I didn't have any proper training. Not long after that, my interest in drums faded. By the time I reached Junior High School (a.k.a PUBERTY), I re-developed a desire to be able to play drums. My mother decided that I should focus on that instrument. She placed me in a drum ECA in school. It was not until the 9th grade that I was allowed to play in morning devotions and sunday school at church. My brother was also a drummer. He plays for the church service, youth services, and also morning devotions. I think I was quite jealous about that back then, which is why I agreed to take drums too.

Being in the music team helped me notice other instruments as well. I decided to take up the bass guitar (initially because I thought it was easy and that a slight mistake can't be heard clearly on stage. Boy, was I wrong...) By the second semester of 10th grade, I obtained my first bass. I was autodidact all the way, learning by experimentations and watching other bass players play. At that time, my main musical interest are Hillsong's songs. My fellow musician friends encouraged me to look more into other genres and bands. The first genre I moved to out of Christian rock is metal. That is where my interest in the guitars developed.

Unlike most bass players, I knew how to play the guitar AFTER I took up the bass. By the first semester of 11th grade, I learned how to play the acoustic and electric guitar simultaneously. I discovered my dad's 20 year old acoustic guitar and began dusting it off and re-stringing. I practiced the electric guitar by borrowing one of my friend's guitar. My grandfather must have felt sorry for me, so he bought me a nice electric guitar in the beginning of the first semester of my senior year. My mom saw the passion I have in guitar and encouraged me to pursue it by putting me in a private guitar lesson with one of the church's guitarists. Throughout the rest of the year, I attended both guitar and drum lessons.

For sports, my supposedly main goal was basketball. However, an incident happened when I was 12 that made me change my mind. I was in one of the competitions and one of the opponents tackled me down and I had a sprained arm for a week or two. Because of that, my parents didn't let me continue. So I decided to take something with less body contact. That is why I ended up playing badminton. I have taken classes for 3 years and had been in a number of competitions (both for the school and for the club).
I had also taken an interest in soccer/futsal recently. The South Africa World Cup fever and the AFF Cup hype got me, and I've been playing futsal ever since.

Finally, I love to write. In elementary, we used to have journals and writing assignments describing a particular random subject. I have grown to love those assignments, and I brought it to high school. However, the journal assignments changed to be more specific and rhetorical. Don't get me wrong, I still do love writing those "hard" assignments more than I like doing calculations and formulas, but I just love writing about random things. This is the reason why I created a blog...

When Facebook had a new feature called "Notes", I took advantage of it to post my personal experiences there. I wrote about my first experience in a badminton competition in Sekolah Pelita Harapan Cup (SPH Cup) to the slightest detail. I had many compliments about my writing. Then, I used Facebook "Notes" to just express my thoughts. I entitled it "In My Mind...(number)"

My main goals in writing these blog entries is simply to express my opinions openly, record my memories of experiences, and glorify the One and Only God in the process. May God help me find the right words to say as I begin my blog. Thank you for taking your time in reading this...


God bless you always and forever,
Justin Tjoandi