A New Year: A New Beginning

2012 is here! I couldn't believe how time flies. It feels like it wasn't long ago I was standing at the shore of the beach in Bali where I received the first big surprise of the year... Unfortunately, 2011 didn't start as well as I had expected. The school year dragged on with a lot of drama involving the authorities and the church. I didn't really know what to expect. In my blackberry status, I simply wrote that I was barely escaping with a scorching fire behind me. The school was restless throughout the semester, my church underwent a change of structure, and things were not the same anymore. It was through this that I learned to hold on to the Lord. We can't expect to understand everything that's happening right then, but all we know is that God is in control. Trust me, it's hard to go through a major change like that after holding on to it for eight or more years. On the bright side, it brought my family closer, to each other and to other people as well. It was then that I knew I had to have someone to whom I can talk to and share. Sure enough, my friends are always there to cheer me up.

The school semester ended and we graduated. Everything went quite smoothly (thank God...). I had the most wonderful vacation with my fellow friends from the graduating class and our form teacher Ms. Fina. We went to the Komodo Islands in Flores and had an amazing time together. We played games till late at night in my room, joked around with each other, swam together, played water polo, took pictures of Komodo, and probably the most memorable: the boat ride together where we shared stories and slept under the stars together on the deck. It was just so amazing.

After our trip, I actually spent more time with my friends than I did in the school year. It was probably because of the realization that I might not be able to meet them for a long time anymore. I immediately arranged for another gathering at Waterbom. As always, we had fun together.

More good news to come: I was accepted in York University for all the three studies I applied to. I moved to Canada on late August and started September. I met great people and have been involved in numerous amazing ministries. My academic studies also were going well.

Unfortunately, 2011 was also the year when I received a lot of distressing news of people passing... I was especially disheartened by the passing of a friend that was quite dear to us. Abraham Singarimbun, who was my age, went through tumor a few years ago. He was cured eventually, but the treatment led a side effect that caused leukemia. The last time I visited him in August (before I left for Canada), he appeared to be healthy and strong. Reading his tweets, he was even able to go back home to Jakarta for a few days. We all thought he was already passed all the sickness and disease. On a Friday afternoon of November 18 while I was waiting for my next class, the news reached me that Abraham had passed. My heart went faint with shock and grief. Amazingly, I was able to pull myself together and finish class for that day. I found peace. Now that I look back on it, I couldn't have done so if I had not learned how to trust the Lord in these times. All things work together for good for those who love the Lord. (Romans 8:28)

On a Saturday midnight (1 A.M), I experienced a car crash on the way back home. Thank God we didn't suffer any serious injuries. Seriously, 2011 was a year full of surprises, but I just know that God's hand is with me everywhere I go.

2012 is a new beginning. A friend of mine says that 2012 is a "time for change". Another friend of mine says it's a time for the world to end, but that's not really important now. This is a year where we all should make the best of our lives. The incidents that happened in 2011 makes me realize how short life really is. Life is a gift from God. He give it and call us back anytime. Are we ready to be called back now? What changes have we made to impact the world? We do not have a lot of time. So let's not squander and waste it. 2012 is a year for change. We can't merely survive, we have to succeed. I believe great things will happen this year... for you and for me. Make the best of it =)



My prayers be with all of you,
Justin

Drifting Away...

I felt that this past few weeks I really drifted away from God... How do I know this? I started getting emotional, lost, and just utterly blank. My devotion time with Him started to get shorter and shorter until I barely had time to do so. I do hate feeling like this. You know, those feelings that makes you feel something is missing. Nothing can fill that empty spot except God Himself. Believe me, I tried. I tried filling it by music, but that wasn't satisfying enough. I tried filling it with TV shows, that didn't do the job. I tried filling with all kinds of internet stuff from social networking to browsing videos around YouTube, yet the void is still there. I tried chatting with my friends (this always cheers me up), but instead, I got insecure while talking. I see how this emptiness inside affects my daily life, and I hated it. I don't want to feel anymore emptiness. Let this blog entry be my seal of declaration that from this hour forward, I will fill that void with God and His love by spending time with Him each and every day.

I wrote a song back in the 11th grade about coming back to His presence:
Back Again
Lost my way from You
Far away from Home
Oh God, I pray
Longing everyday to come back to Your arms and bow down to all that You want...


Oh God
Forgive me that I sinned
Your grace suffice for those who repent


Never again I'll leave
Never again I'll sin freely
Even if I fall, pull me back and make me come back to Your arms and bow down to all that You want...

God pulled me back to Him... This is why I love Him so much... He never lets anyone fall behind. He is a God of second chances. I'm just grateful to have a God who cares and loves. I'm coming back to You, God. I'm back in Your presence...

Inflight Blog: Leaving my home...

As I am typing this, I am in a flight on the way to Toronto, Canada, where I will continue my further studies as an undergraduate in York University. Communication Studies would be my major throughout my four years study. Most of my fellow graduates of MSA have already started their university terms (kinda feel left out but also happy because I have a longer holiday :P). 

Leaving home is not easy at all... I am currently having mixed feelings of anxiety, excitement, nostalgia, and utter longing for my friends back home. I did not feel the “burden” of leaving until the morning of the day I was leaving. It was Sunday and I was ministering in the Kids on Fire Sunday school in my church. A bit of background: Kids on Fire (or KoF in short) is the first area of ministry in which I volunteered when I was about 10 years old. Back then, I was just working as a front desk registration person. My job was simply write down the children’s names who attend and give them coupons for the Kid’s Store. God gave me that chance to serve in KoF and I stayed faithful throughout the seven years after that. I wouldn’t be able to serve in the church choir nor be a musician if I had not ministered in KoF seven years ago... I decided that my last Sunday before leaving for university should be dedicated to where all my ministry started. I played the bass for both services. At the end of the worship session of the second service, Ms. Istha (wife of Ps. Jahja Gani) called me to the center of the stage to be prayed for. Her son, Joshua, came up the stage and prayed for His blessings to be upon me wherever I go. I was deeply touched... 

After the end of second service, I went up to the Music Hall to ask for the pastors’ blessings to send me off. I met Pastor Frans first. He prayed that I will hold all the moral values I have learned back home to Toronto. He prayed for the anointing of Daniel to be upon me wherever I go. After that, I went to Ps. Jahja, who prayed thanksgiving for putting me in the church to minister. Finally, I went to Ps. Markus who prophesied for me. “It’s true that you might not give your first fruit in the school like your brother and sisters did. The devil will tell you that you are missing out, but that’s a lie. ‘I have a greater plan for you’ says the Lord. I see you as a righteous man in God who stands on the right convictions. You will learn a lot of other ideas and religions, but you would not practice them.” After each prayer from the pastors, I embraced them saying my last goodbye before leaving. 

In the airport, I received several blackberry messages, tweets, and comments from several people wishing me “all the best” in Canada. Some even went through the trouble of typing out a long paragraph. I was deeply touched by their thoughtfulness in writing those long messages before I leave. I read through each one and thanked everyone. After that, I departed for Singapore. 

The next day, I went out with some of my friends (namely Tasha, Leon, and Josiah). My brother and sister (Adelene) tagged along. We went to visit our friend Abraham who is recovering from leukemia. We met the family and spent quite a while catching up with him. At 6, we parted ways. Leon, however, suggested we hang out in Marina Bay Sands’ Sky Garden to take pictures of the nightlife. This idea was quite random, but we went with it anyway. At half past 10, the four of us (excluding my sister and Tasha) arrived in the Sands. We found out that the Sky Garden had just closed half an hour ago. We decided to just take pictures inside the Sands Mall. As Leon and my brother took outdoor pictures of the Fullerton View, Josiah and I had a long talk about things that happened in MSA and things happening in the present. After a while, we both decided to search for Leon and my brother. Apparently, Tasha was already with them while they were taking low-shutter speed shots of themselves. It was quite fun! It’s able to make a figure seem like a specter in the image result. We took quite a while doing so. Around a quarter before 1, we decided to search for a 7/11 store to get some beverages. After a long search, we finally did find one in the mall. We had our drinks and exited the building. We took a long walk on the “Olympic Walk” while heading towards a cab. Leon never ceases to amuse all of us with his random comments and stories. Josiah took a separate cab home. I said my farewell to him. Then, we dropped off Tasha at her dorm. After that, we dropped Leon in his condo. Finally, we reached home at about a quarter past 2 (I have never gone home that late...or that early :P) I went online in Skype and saw Tasha online. I started a chat with her when I saw Leon and Josiah popped up online in Skype too. Then, we had a chat conference. Unfortunately, my internet broke down in the middle of the conversation... I didn’t get the chance to thank them for the awesome night I had. So I only tweeted and status-ed it. They made my last night there memorable. So if y’all are reading this, Tash, Le, and Jos, I wanna thank you SO MUCH for being such awesome friends for taking the time to hang out. =) I’ll miss you all... In fact I do already.........

I took a short nap on the plane earlier. After the inflight meal, I decided to look for something to do... However, the map’s not working and the inflight movies are not that interesting. So I decided to be alone with my thoughts for a minute. It was then that God showed me the blessings He had provided for me ever since childhood. I have a great family who takes care of me. Even now, my parents and sister are in the flight with me to Toronto to help arrange my necessities when we arrive. This is how much they love me =) Second, I had a great church. MSI had been my church ever since it was formed in early 2000s. My pastors cared for the welfare of each member and newcomer. I love my Sunday school ministry and worship ministry. I would definitely miss being in my church ministry... Finally, I have great friends who are thoughtful, random in a fun way, and supportive. I only regret that I did not spend more time with them when I had the chance... When experiencing all this, I almost shed tears. But now that I’m thinking back on all that happened, a cry of desperate longing is raging in my heart...

I learned a lot from my childhood, but I am now moving on to another phase of life. What I did is the past now. Sadly, it is now just a shadow in my memories... But as Switchfoot sings it, “The shadow proves the sunshine.” I believe I will enjoy a lot more things in university life as I move on. My memories of childhood are sweet as it is, but I pray that God would let my latter be sweeter than my past. I’m missing you all back home... I hope I can visit you as soon as I can. 

You all have marked a permanent seal in my memories. I would be sinning if I ever forget all the things you did for me. May God bless you all for the lessons you have taught me and the fun experiences we had together...

Desperately homesick, 

Justin

For my fellow graduates of 2010-2011

This composition is dedicated to my fellow senior classmates of MSA 2010-2011...

"I’m traveling through the sky overlooking the waters below

I looked out on my window and saw it’s all dark

The waters, the darkness

Even these brought longing memories to my mind...

I remember clearly those times

Resting our heads on the deck

Gazing upon the stars above

The dark waters surrounding the boat

My friends around me all adoring God’s beautiful creations

I can never forget that moment together

Looking back, it just hurts to recall

A feeling I haven’t felt before

The bond we all shared

Knowing that we are all far apart now

I just wish we could relive those moments..."

MSI Sunday Service August 21, 2011

It was just another Sunday service in Morning Star Indonesia (MSI Jakarta). Nothing extraordinary will happen. Oh, we have a guest speaker. Then I guess the sermon would be quite fun. Nah, nothing amazing...........

These are the thoughts I had before the Sunday service started. Boy, was I wrong... In fact, this last Sunday service was the best service I have ever been to in my life so far. I felt the amazing presence of God fill me as I worshipped and witnessed His greatness. This is definitely a day to remember.

________________________________________________________________

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning with my alarm ringing from my blackberry. I just had the experience of a "Sunday Morning Scramble" the week before, and I'd say that it was not something I would want to occur again. Off to the shower immediately. I got dressed and we were off to church.

We arrived early, seeing that only a few of the musicians had arrived before us. As they prepared their instruments, I took a seat in the front row of the right wing in the auditorium. I glanced at the clock and realized that we still had at least 30 minutes before the service starts. At that moment, God softly whispered to me to "prepare your heart for His presence". I pulled out my iPod from my pocket and tapped on the Bible application. There, I read the whole chapter of I Corinthians. After I closed in prayer, I felt that my heart is prepared for the morning.

Everyone took their stations, mine being in the choir stage. The opening song started. Kak Petra (our youth leader) opened the service with greetings. Even in this first song, I can already feel the peace around the atmosphere. After that first worship song, we moved on to praise. It was jumpy and joyous! I don't think I've ever jumped and dance that much on stage :P but I do this all for His sake (we sang the Rebirth song "You Are Great" with one phrase in the bridge: "I'm not ashamed to jump and dance before You; I owe it all to You"). It was fun yet meaningful.

After that, we sang a new worship song by Sidney Mohede. It's amazing that the song was actually quite familiar. We were able to engage so easily with the words. I started to reflect on those words as we sang. Immediately, I felt God speaking to me. All I could say was, "God... You have been so faithful to me. You deserve all the praise and honor, and with my whole heart, I worship You (S'gala puji, s'gala hormat, seg'nap haiku menyembah Kau). Accept my life today, Father, as a living sacrifice unto You alone (Terimalah s'gnap hidupku s'bagai persembahan yang hidup). Tears fell from my eyes as I said these words from my heart.

The pastor came up to commence the Holy Communion. We sang "Jesus Be the Center" until the end of the praise and worship. Powerful words...

Verse: Jesus be the center of my life Jesus be the center of my life From beginning to the end, it will always be It's always been You Jesus Jesus Chous: Nothing else matters Nothing in this world will do Jesus You're the center Everything revolves around You Jesus You Bridge From my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center It's all about You Yes it's all about You Chorus 2: Jesus be the center of Your church Jesus be the center of Your church And every knee will bow, and every tongue  shall confess You Jesus Jesus

(Just recently today, I was Skype-ing with a friend of mine discussing this song. "When all else fails, Jesus is all you got," we agreed. It's true. We can call ourselves "Christians", but if Jesus is not the center of our lives, then it is meaningless.)


The sermon was really touching too. It's about giving our life and dedicating it to God and His ministry. The speaker was a missionary named Ps. Rusty Russell. In one of his testimonies, he mentioned that he visited a village in Nepal to minister. One time, a deaf girl came up to where he and his team were camping. Pastor Rusty placed his hands near the girl's ears and prayed for immediate healing. Suddenly, the girl was able to hear again! She went back to tell the people in the village about the miracle that recently  happened. An old man approached the missionaries and asked for the "magician". "We have no magician," was the reply. "But I can pray to my God to heal you as He did the young girl." The old man was also deaf in one ear. As immediately as the prayer ended, the man was restored! The news spread among the villagers and most of them got saved after the incident.

After the sermon, Pastor Rusty called on all those who wants to accept Jesus to their lives for the first time. A lot of the congregation stepped up and gave their lives to Christ. Then, Pastor Rusty caught us off guard when he said, "God is telling me that some of you need a healing miracle. Among you, there's one who is deaf in your right ear (an elderly man stood up and walked to the front immediately). There are also people here with kidney pains, neck pains, shoulder pains, knee pains." A long line formed in front of the stage. Pastor Rusty called on the leaders of the church and prayed for God's healing anointing to be upon them too. He poured oil and rubbed it on each of the leaders' hands. After doing so, he prayed for the elderly man who was deaf in the right ear. After a short prayer, he began to snap his fingers in front of the elderly man's ears. "Can you hear now?" The man smiled and shouted "Yes!" There was another elderly man who came up to the line with his son. He had a knee injury. After a prayer for healing, Pastor Rusty told the man to skip around. The man did so with no pain whatsoever. The surprised look in the son's face was just priceless! He stared with wide eyes at his father's recent recovery. Throughout the whole healing service, the worship team sang Hillsong's "Healer". Everyone was touched, even the audience. After everyone was prayed for, the first service came to an end.

By the beginning of the second service, my voice was already half gone due to the high notes of the songs. Common sense dictates that I should rest my voice for this service. But God is beyond common sense. I made a decision to "sing out loud until my lungs explode if it comes to that" =P (Thank God it didn't). The opening song already drew tears. By the time we reached the song "We Have Overcome", I already felt my throat hurting a little. Ironically, this made me sing out more :P I had fun throughout the praise. We sang "Jesus Be the Center" again. I have never sung a song in which I meant every single word before. "Nothing else matters", "From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center", "It's all about You". When we reached the part where we sing "Jesus" over and over again, tears literally RAINED down. In my heart, I kept saying to myself, "Yeah, sing the beautiful name of Jesus. The name above all names. The name that conquers all. The name that softens the hardest heart. The name that heals. The name that saves..."

It was a beautiful praise and worship session... I have never felt anything like that. The last time I felt a huge "tsunami" of God's presence was back in Manado when we had a youth service at the church there. Never before have I experienced the best worship session in my home church. After 17 years, this was the first time I felt something like that. It was truly amazing. Our God is so awesome. I saw the deaf regain their hearing, I saw the crippled walk, and I saw the lost found. I praise and amazing God...


Thank you for reading,
Justin

The Savior, my Hero...

I would first like to apologize for not updating my blog regularly. Things had been routine ever since I got back from my China trip. We had our MSA Orientation camp and had a few hangouts with some of my friends, but other than that, nothing much is happening.

Okay, so the reason why I'm writing a new entry now is because I felt the need to share what I'm feeling inside right now. I had recently watched the movie Braveheart (actually just finished the movie right before opening my blog). I didn't know it was made in 1995; therefore, I didn't know to watch it. The overall movie itself is amazing...and gruesome. It's no wonder they won many awards. But putting those awesome movie-making aside, I especially love the message of the film. For those of you who do not know what Braveheart is all about... Well, it's basically about a Scottish patriot (William Wallace) who fought against the oppressing English kingdom in their land. He led his Scots army to achieve freedom. Many times, William was tempted to sidetrack from his conviction. And each time, he turned it down and stood his ground.

What hits me the most was the ending of the movie. Eventually, William was betrayed and captured by the English people. Before his execution, the princess of Wales visited him in the prison and begged him to drink an anesthetic liquid that will dull the pain he'll be facing during the torturous execution. William refused, saying that, "For if I'm senseless, or if I wail, the [English] would have broken me." As he was paraded towards the execution site, the citizens of England threw things at him to shame him. The executioner gave William a chance to submit to the English throne, which will give him a quick death instead of a long torture. William stood silent. There comes the first torture: hanging. After suffocating half dead, the executioner gave another chance for William to submit. And again, William silently refused and stood back up. The second torture fell on him: racking (which involves stretching the legs and arms with a rack). After that phase was over, the executioner asked William again if he wants mercy. William remained steadfast. The third torture involves cutting open his body and body parts (gruesome...I know...). Even then, the executioner offers William to shout "Mercy!" to end this suffering. The audience watching this execution also cried out for William to utter "Mercy!" William only had one last word to say: "Freedom!" as the axe ran through his neck, thus ending his life.

As I watched this scene, I was reminded of our Lord Jesus' brutal crucifixion. Jesus suffered alone. Picture this: you're going through a situation and you need comfort, but you find that all of your friends are not there to give you the encouragement you need. This is exactly what Jesus had to face. His closest disciples were sleeping while He had to pray hard before the arrest. Jesus was even tempted to escape this torture, but He made a resolution in Luke 22:42, "Father, if it is Your Will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours be done." It takes great strength and personal conviction to say those words. Jesus had to die for our sins. He was accused of deeds He did not do. Jesus was whipped several times before being paraded around Via Dolorosa to be humiliated more by the people. On the cross, His flesh were already torn out that He doesn't even look like a human being anymore. He had to hang there for six hours, His body all covered in blood. Jesus was tortured mercilessly for something He did not do, yet He accepts it just to save us from the bondage of sin. If He is willing to die for our salvation, how much more should we be willing to die for His sake.......



God bless you,
Justin

Day 2: Hong Kong-Macau-China Trip (Hong Kong)

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

          Our alarm clock was set off at exactly 7:30 A.M. Both my brother and I are still dozed off in bed. His hand searched for the snooze button and slammed it. It took us four more snoozes before we finally were awaken by a crowd of Chinese tourists outside making a lot of noises. I went to the door and looked through the peak-hole. Two ladies and a kid was there talking loudly. I banged on my door and they reacted. I headed for the bathroom to shower. 

      By 9:00, almost everyone was already gathered downstairs. My aunt and my cousins were still absent, though. The rest of us decided to head for the breakfast place first. Cafe de Coral became our choice because it has a special breakfast menu and it’s close by, anyway. I took a picture of my breakfast and later posted it on Instagram. 

         After breakfast, we headed for the train station to ride to Causeway Bay (my grandpa decided to go Shenzhen first because he had business to do there; therefore, he wasn’t with us shopping today). There was a little misunderstanding before we boarded. Apparently, we got separated to two groups unintentionally and didn’t know where the other group is. After about fifteen minutes of searching, my second sister (Adelene) received a text message from my aunt saying that they were already in front of the trains waiting. With that, we dashed down the stairs and ran toward the trains. It was just in time too! In less than a minute, the train arrived and we were off to Causeway Bay...which is only one stop away...

        Causeway Bay! Downtown of Hong Kong! Unfortunately, it was raining again today. We had our umbrellas but it wasn’t enough for each of us to hold one. Because of this, we had to group two by two in one umbrella with the exception of my two cousins who were under one umbrella with their mom. Our first stop was a jewelry store owned by one of my grandmother’s friends from Jakarta. I was so bored of waiting that I took out my iTouch and started to play my “Bebot” app to the tune of Jennifer Lopez’s “On the Floor”. That song became the “theme song” sung repeatedly throughout the day.

A half hour passed when we finally decided to go to our next destination: my great-granduncle’s apartment. My grandma chose to stay to just catch up with her friend and will meet us at 12:30 around the area. We arrived in the apartment and met with our 87 year old great granduncle. We took a few pictures at the end of our visit and we headed to the rendezvous point to join my grandmother. We had lunch at a local restaurant that has both local and western cuisines. 

        Once lunch was over, our shopping mode is on. Giordano was our first real shopping stop of the day. We completed all the payments and headed towards the next shop: G2000. We were separated again from the others. This time, my parents, my sister Adelene, and my brother Jonathan were with me. We agreed to meet up in Times Square as soon as we’re done. We walked on to search for the big building. It was quite a long walk too, so we decided to stop by a shop and ask for directions. The man told us to “go straight and turn right when you see the ‘IT’ sign and from there you can see the tallest building.” It took us about twenty minutes of crossing the roads, walking on the sidewalks, and going around buildings before we finally entered the Times Square itself. By then, it was 4 o’clock. We met the others in Ben & Jerry’s. We all split up and agreed to meet back there an hour later. 

One hour was over. In that time, I was able to buy my brother’s birthday present. My brother and I was back at Ben & Jerry’s with my cousins and my grandma, but everyone else was still missing. A few minutes later, my aunt and my parents came. By then, I was already searching for Internet access. Thankfully, I was able to reply a few messages to my friends in FB and chat with another one of my friends in Skype. After a half hour or so, my sisters finally arrived and we headed for another store. Once that’s done, we headed for our last stop: Sogo. 

Our shopping finally ended and we all were quite exhausted. We got home and dropped our bags in the room and departed again to find our dinner. The stores nearby were mostly closed already. We had no other choice but to cross the bridge and ate in the other side. The only decent restaurant there was Cafe de Coral. There was a McDonald’s in the next floor, but none of the others agreed to eat there except for my cousins and me. 

After a filling meal, we walked back to the hotel while discussing J. Lo’s song all the way back. The hotel lobby was a like a haven for my brother and me. Yes, we immediately connected to the WiFi there. I get to post pictures in Instagram and chat for quite a while with my friend. Finally, we had to go back to our rooms. 

A refreshing shower was just what I needed after a long, tiring day. I stepped out of the bathroom afterwards and noticed the curtain half open. I walked over to the window and pulled it fully open, unveiling a night view of Hong Kong Central. It was amazing. If there’s something good about urban civilizations, it would be these magnificent lights in the city at night. I immediately moved everything away from the window and placed my brother’s camera tripod close to the window. I adjusted my camera and fixed the settings. I turned off all the lights and took several shots of the nightlife. Amazing...truly amazing...

Our last activity was a game of DotA among my siblings and me. I was paired with my brother and we won the round. Satisfied with the results, I sat in my bed and began typing about my day today. So here I am... 

     What do I have to say about the day? Well, time becomes a precious memory when they are spent with those whom you love. Never ever hesitate to spend time with your family. There is no loss in it. I enjoyed my day today because I spent it with my family. I can say that today is a day that I treasure so much...all because I spent it with the people I love. God bless you all!